We have all experienced challenges in life, some more debilitating than others but, nevertheless painful experiences that we DO NOT want to repeat. Yet, we carry the weight of this pain around with us in 50-pound potato sacks as if by carrying this emotional weight, we are somehow protecting ourselves from having ‘the’ experience again. You know the traits…snappy, angry, words that cut like a knife, it’s me against you, moody, judgmental, get out of my way cause I’m coming through…aggressive, road rage kinda people. Angry and hurt about something or someone in the past and now the entire world must pay! Know anybody like this?
This is what emotional pain looks like. All pain needs to be healed from within in order to ‘truly’ forgive. And in order to heal, you must first understand the source of your pain and the role you play in maintaining this dis-ease.
I know what you’re thinking right now, “What…the role I play?!” I’m willing to bet that your private thoughts are beginning to focus on a person or a particular experience that has caused you immense pain in the past. Right now, you’re asking yourself, “Is she nuts? Does she understand what this person, situation, or condition did to me?” And if this is your question, my response is, “No. I don’t know.” BUT, I do completely know and understand what it is like to have a part of your world so violently ripped apart that it strips you to the core of your being and the only emotion that you can muster is hate. Now, for anyone for who is reading this post and knows me personally, you know that ‘hate’ is an extremely strong word for me. But at one point in my life, I co-existed with these exact feelings and am completely aware of the karmic weight they carry. When you carry this level of toxic emotion around with you day-in and day-out, you surrender ‘Your’ power to the person or circumstance that hurt you. This is the same as saying that your life is the responsibility of someone else and that you have nothing to do with creating the painful emotions and the repetitious conflicts in your life. This is called Blame and if this is your response to pain, you tell yourself a dis-empowering lie and in so doing, You escape responsibility and hide the Truth. Forgiveness is the answer because facing the Truth will set you FREE!
Now, I bet I know what you thinking again, “So what…the other person just gets to do what they did and walk away…meanwhile, I’m left dealing with…?” This is the common emotional filter that most people use when thinking about forgiveness. This is also a common but fatal error in the thought process. And, what I am about to say may shock you but, it IS the ABSOLUTE TRUTH! Are you ready?
FORGIVENESS IS NOT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON
FORGIVENESS IS ONLY ABOUT YOU!!!
You see, it’s easy to hold a grudge. This method places blame on an external source and makes you the victim. However, until you take charge of your internal reality, you are bound to keep re-experiencing whatever you are trying to avoid. Avoidance makes an issue the number one priority in your mind because it focuses your energy on whatever you are trying to avoid. Remember the Law of Attraction…“like attracts like.”
So, when you want to create your life differently, you must live from a place of knowing two things:
- ‘YOU’ are the root cause of all that you experience based on the emotions you are holding onto.
- Taking responsibility for “YOUR’ feelings and what goes on inside your mind, IS the source of your empowerment.
Now, let’s discuss forgiveness and how you can make the conscious changes you want in your life.
Often times, when people ‘forgive’ each other, using the misunderstood form of forgiveness, people simply let each other ‘off the hook.’ Then, each mind maintains an invisible wall of blockages and painful realities and continues to ‘punish’ the other person — in thought, behavior, and actions. This is called emotional abuse and this IS NOT what I am talking about when I speak of forgivenss.
I AM talking about ‘True’ forgiveness. True forgiveness doesn’t say, “What you did was okay,” nor, does it mean that you have to continue to allow the person or circumstance to remain in your life (unless this is your conscious choice). True forgiveness means you are willing to release the old mindset, triggers, anger, resentment, and blame from your life in order to organically heal and be restored to a place of Divine peace and wellness. Forgiveness IS one of the most essential parts of our spiritual growth and thus a very imperative skill to believe, learn and practice.
In order to integrate this new idea of ‘true’ forgiveness into your life you must begin by letting go of your old, conflicting beliefs. No one can simultaneously take responsibility for his or her life while blaming someone else. And once you make the commitment to be response-able, your conscious is free to change – thus, you change your world.
Facing the Truth WILL Set Your FREE!
P.S. Here are some resources that I put together to help set you free. With each exercise, remember to allow yourself the time and privacy to complete them with honesty and personal integrity:
Forgiveness Exercise #1
Forgiveness Exercise #2
Yours in Truth and Response-Ability,
P.S. I’d love to hear from you! Did you have a revelation, an ‘aha’ moment, or any insight that you can share in the comments below? Are there any action steps you’re committed to taking after reading this post? If you enjoyed today’s post, please share it with your friends, family, or community on Facebook and Twitter. I appreciate YOU!
Self-love is one of the most important vibrations we can radiate out into the world. When we truly love ourselves, our personal energy vibrates at an elevated level; that is, when we authentically honor the core of our being, we vibrate “I Am Worthy and “I Am Deserving.” Sending this level of love and energy out into the universe attracts back to us the people, conditions, circumstances, ideas, and feelings that mirror our self-love vibration.
March 28, 2012
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