The holiday season has officially arrived and it can be both exhilarating and emotionally exhausting; especially if you are experiencing a major life shift or mourning the loss of anyone or anything significant in your life. Believe me, I speak from life experience. You see, as I write this post, I am smack-dab in the middle of processing the recent transition of my beloved grandmother. And while many professional coaches and personal development leaders hold the posture of keeping their personal circumstances close to their vest, I believe in the authenticity of sharing both the peaks and valleys + tools that will meet anyone experiencing the same or similar mixed emotions over the holiday season, right where they are. So, if this is “You” and you resonate, here are 8 Secrets of How to Flow Gracefully Through Grief during the Holidays:
1. Honor Your Feelings. The holiday season can deliver a trick-bag of emotions that run the gamut from sadness and overwhelm to pure joy and celebration; combine that with grief on any level and you’re in for one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Give yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel in any given moment. Reflect, cry, celebrate…express whatever emotions you feel and allow them to flow up and out. Release the need to impress others or measure up to external beliefs about how you “should” feel.
2. Ask and Ye Shall Receive. This is one of the most powerful statements ever spoken. It means that there is a Divine & Higher Power which can and will honor your request. So, if you find yourself in need of extra energy, strength, courage, patience, a compassionate sounding board, whatever or whomever it is that you need to lift you UP, ask for Divine assistance. God and the angels are ready, willing, and able to support you but, you must ASK!
3. Release and Surrender. Often times when we are growing through change we are very heady; that is, we get very cerebral and contemplative as if we must single-handedly “fix” our emotions or the situation alone. But, this is a great time to open your arms, and release all the thoughts, challenges, and emotions that you’ve held so tightly gripped within your hands. Open your hands, arms, and your heart to love; to the love and support of compassion beings around you and to the love of Divine support. Release and surrender. Emotionally, let it all go. And remember to be willing to ASK for help if you need it.
4. Ink it. Write a heart-felt, un-sent letter to your loved one (or gratitude list) expressing exactly how you feel about them at this moment…the memories, experiences, your gratitude for their contribution to your life. Then, either store it away in a special place (e.g., book of poems, spiritual text, photo album, scrapbook, or drawer in your home) or perform a symbolic ritual of burning and releasing.
5. Go with the Flow. Redefine your expectations of the holiday season, at least for this season of transition. If you feel the need to scale back and graciously say “no,” do so. This is a good time to create new traditions and redefine or release others.
6. Celebrate. Gather with a small, close-knit group of nurturing family and friends who knew your loved one or understand your circumstances to share stories, memories and pictures. There is strength in numbers and their celebratory support can lift your spirits.
7. Receive Energy Work. Your body is a remarkable energy field that will respond positively to energetic treatments. Energy work, such as Reiki, Qi Gong, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and Theta Healing can benefit your energetic body in tremendous ways. Seek the assistance of a qualified practitioner by contacting a local metaphysical or holistic healing center.
8. Believe and Trust. Acknowledging that your current emotional set-point may feel raw and shattered, you must know and believe in your heart that everything is healed and whole right now; you are right where you are supposed to be, in this moment. And as your faith grows and your trust enables your mind and body to relax, your strength will increase. Believe and Trust that all is well and that the intensity of your emotions will subside.
Now, this list is in no way exhaustive. I’m sure there are many ways to expand on the energy and tips that I share here and if you can think of other ways to soothe a grieving holiday soul, please share it in the comments area below. Also, if you know of anyone that may benefit from these 8 Secrets of How to Flow Gracefully Through Grief during the Holidays, feel free to share it on Facebook and Twitter.
Yours in Grace and Gratitude,
P.S. Today is December 2nd and I’ve returned to this article to provide some additional resources because the Universe spoke very clearly to my soul this morning. The following are a couple of web and book resources that I hope will help anyone experiencing grief, loss, and suffering in this moment. Sending you much love and support! Leigh xoxo
Web Resources
Books (Please note: I am not an Amazon affiliate. I’m simply providing links in order that you read more about each book and purchase if you believe that the content will assist you or someone that you can deeply for.)
November 16, 2011 at 10:42 PM
So beautifully said Leigh. Be real with yourself and your feelings. Loosing a loved one is hard. I have a really great friend who’s mom is in ICU right now. Stacy and I had her over for dinner. One of our favorite things to do is draw a Kryon card or angel cards. Both cards she drew tonight were on transition. Remember your loved one is free flowing and having a grand old time right now where ever they may be. Cherish your memories and listen for sounds, smells, thoughts, visions and signs that they may send to comfort you and say hello.
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November 17, 2011 at 10:53 AM
Thank you Carol it’s spoken from the heart. Drawing the cards is a beautiful idea, thank you for sharing. Funny that you mention the sensory ways in which our transitioned loved one let us know they are with us… An old friend (that my grandmother really liked and thought that I should have married (lol) stopped by last week to see how I was doing and about 20 minutes before he arrived, my home filled with the most beautiful fragrance. At first I thought my son had sprayed air freshener then, I had to stop and laugh because in that moment I realized she was making her presence known. Such a fun and comforting moment.
November 17, 2011 at 5:08 AM
Hi Leigh! This is such a powerful and heart felt message. A friend of mine lost her Mom this week and I’ll be sure to share this with her. Thanks so much for the encouraging words.
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November 17, 2011 at 10:55 AM
Hi Ileane!
Welcome and thank you for stopping by. It is my pleasure to share in hopes that along the way my journey helps another. I hope that your friend finds some comfort and help in my message.
November 17, 2011 at 8:29 AM
Yes, sometimes writing it down makes it all feel better. It won’t go away, but it’s sort of like you don’t have to go through it alone.
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November 17, 2011 at 10:57 AM
Yes, David! As my grandmother used to say, “There more room out, than in.” Writing is such a powerful outlet and definitely lessens the sadness. Many thanks for stopping by.
November 17, 2011 at 3:39 PM
I think acknowledging your feelings is a very important step. I’ve often witnessed people trying to ignore their feelings and labeling them as counter productive or ‘wrong’ and we all experience grief in different ways so it is wise to acknowledge that it is a feeling your are having in regards to the situation.
November 17, 2011 at 4:05 PM
Amen Grace! When we acknowledge our feelings, we validate that we are human with a right to “feel.” Conversely, when we stuff our feelings, in the back…in the darkest corner of the closet, our truths are focused to emerge in self-distructive ways such as addictions, anger, and other self-defeating ways. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
November 17, 2011 at 4:18 PM
This is the perfect healing process for a passing of a loved one. We can not consciously re-think or chose our thoughts through experiencing a passing of someone dear to us. We have to allow ourselves to feel those emotions, grieve and accept love and divine healing. That’s the only way to keep yourself mentally grounded through this holiday season.
You will get through this, Leigh.
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November 17, 2011 at 4:25 PM
Many thanks Tisha for the encouraging words. Each of the tips I share here are taken from a page in the present book of my life and it’s helping. I receive peace because I ask in faith and for anyone who resonates with these tips, the same will apply to them. Enjoy a beautiful day remainder.
November 20, 2011 at 11:09 PM
Hi, Thanks for the nice words, i recently lost my grandfather. I appreciate your words.
November 21, 2011 at 10:23 AM
Hi Olly,
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. I do hope that you try some of the tips I share here. They have been very helpful for me and I hope for you as well. May abundant peace abound.
November 25, 2011 at 2:39 AM
Hi Leigh,
I am new and this is the first post I read. It is really true and touching. Losing somebody is very hard. But have somebody in your family who is suffering is also hard…that is what is happening to me. Thank you for sharing.
November 28, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Welcome Lenia! Witnessing suffering is not a comfortable experience on so many levels and I am very sorry to hear of your circumstances. It is all in the hands of Spirit now and what you can do is pray regularly for your loved one and for yourself. I do hope that the tips I offer here help you during this trying time.
November 29, 2011 at 1:23 AM
Thank you for the advice. It is very kind of you. I appreciate it.
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November 29, 2011 at 9:09 AM
It’s my pleasure Lenia. Very happy that I could help.
November 30, 2011 at 9:27 PM
It is always difficult to lose a loved one, not matter the time of year, but especially difficult during the holiday season. A good friend is going to lose his Mom in the next few days. I am going to share this article with him.
Thanks
December 1, 2011 at 12:52 AM
Yes Bob, so true. I am sending the blessings of peace and light energy to your friend and his Mom right in this moment. Thank you for sharing.
December 3, 2011 at 2:26 AM
Hi Leigh….my daughter sent me this article and it is absolutely wonderful!
The only additional suggestion I have is to read and do the exercises, when ready, in the Grief Recovery Handbook, by John W James and Russell Friedman.
I got rid of a lot of old beliefs using these exercises.
Thanks! Linda H
December 5, 2011 at 12:03 PM
Hi Linda,
I love it when my community of readers openly shares resources. What a beautiful exchange of energy. Thank you!
December 7, 2011 at 12:19 AM
I haven’t had a loss this year, but I know some people that have. My aunt for one, around the holidays gets a little down about her late husband. This is a nice post for her to read. Thanks for sharing. I’m sure a lot of people will find comfort in this.
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March 4, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Hi there I really enjoyed your great blog post on 8 Secrets of How to Flow Gracefully Through Grief during the Holidays. Valuable information and awesome webdesign you got here! I would like to thank you for sharing your ideas and time into the stuff you post!! Thumbs up
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March 20, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Lashay,
Many thanks for stopping by. It brings me pure joy to know that my messages and lessons resonate with my readers. Thank you for taking the time to acknowledge your gratitude. You are very much appreciated.